DAMASCUS, SYRIA—President Bashar al-Assad expressed support for Navajo Nation Council Speaker Johnny Naize after the Council voted 12-0 to put him on indefinite administrative leave Friday.
“My regime feels that Speaker Naize is doing an excellent job at quelling the rebellion that has plagued his mineral colony,” al-Assad said. “We look to him in showing leadership in keeping his population under control.”
Speaker Naize faced scrutiny in the Navajo Nation Council because of previous allegations over misuse of discretionary funds. The Navajo Nation Code reads that the Speaker should be in “good standing.”
Council Delegate Alton Joe Shepard sponsored the legislation to remove Naize as Speaker of the Navajo Nation Council because he felt that the allegations against him showed negatively on the rest of the Navajo Nation Council.
Al-Assad scoffed off the claim and reiterated what Katherine Benally said on the Council floor.
“It has to be proved in a court of law first. Obviously once the Speaker is named Speaker it is sacrosanct position and it is seen as dickish and un-bro-like move for members of the mineral colony’s council to remove him over a slight blemish in his spending behavior to pay for his wives.”
“Also I think Speaker Naize’s opposition are funded by terrorists groups. As President Shelly said, he is the only thing that keeps the predictability, functionality, and mineral contracts coming.” Al-Assad continued, “If Naize is absent who will allow crude oil and coal in your land? Bates? Is he a reliable friend to mineral interests? You ask yourself ‘hmmm?’ Hahaha!! That’s what I thought!”
Al-Assad said he also supports the efforts of Naize to seek an injunction on the Council Delegates who voted to remove him.
“The mullahs of the Navajo Nation Court will certainly see that these traitors are tried and put to public belittlement in the form of negative Facebook comments. Wooohahahaha!”